meeting new people

i understand privacy. and the need to be secretive.

but,

maybe i feed from human interaction.

i need to complete my chevening application. what’s left is only my personal statement and which uni to choose. LSE is a good option but do i dare the competitive environment? i am not a go-getter. fear of losing, i retract from any competition so i won’t be vulnerable to it.

anyways. yes. a supper with new people after a very long day at work. meeting new people feeds my soul. you learn a lot about human behaviour. and the best thing that makes me smile every single day, is when someone is able to open up to me in a way they would to a dear old friend.

and of course, i don’t neglect old friends. this year is the third year that i’m among the first 20 people who wished fynaz birthday. she’s like my dear sister, who will tell me off when i’m wrong and hug me tight when i needed the hug. …. and she doesn’t look 32 *woops*

here’s to … your happy heart! cheers ~

entri ini untuk ashvina marie naidu

kerana beliau adalah seorang yang istimewa.

bukan senang kita mahu jumpa gadis India di pekan kuala lumpur yang berusia 23 tahun dan petah bercakap di dalam loghat kelantan. gadis-gadis melayu yang asalnya dari sana pun ada segelintir yang malu berbahasa melayu loghta kelantan. ramai yang mahu mengadaptasikan loghat orang Inggeris atau orang Amerika, malah loghat Australia yang sungguh tipu dan tak original pun ada. tetapi takpe, itu usaha mereka di dalam globalisasi. syabas.

namun tetapi. hari ini ashvina marie naidu, rakan yang saya baru kenal sejak 2-3 bulan yang lepas, meraikan hari jadi nya yang ke-23. walaupun pada usia 23 tahun, semangat jiwanya sebagai pensyarah seperti seorang ibu, mendidik pelajar yang hanya 5 tahun muda daripadanya.

ashvina atau lebih mesra saya panggil dengan nama ash, sentiasa akan memuji kebaikan hati saya, tetapi beliau lupa, kawan itu mencerminkan diri kita sendiri, dan saya hanyalah cermin kepada ketulusan dan keikhlasan hati beliau yang acapkali beliau nafikan dengan tujuan merendahkan diri.

beliau perlu sedar. hati nya seperti rambut nya. kerinting besar dan mengerbang. cuba mahu meliputi setiap kawasan jikalau boleh. ini bukan umpatan atau tohmahan. tetapi hanyalah pujian ikhlas.

ash membuat saya mahu menyayangi, menyayangi di luar bidang kuasa saya, mencecah setiap ruangan yang ada. ash sentiasa membuat saya tersenyum dan berterima kasih kerana saya mempunyai kemahuan untuk memberikan cinta saya kepada semua, bukan hanya seorang.

ini baru bulan ketiga persahabatan kami. saya amat berharap persahabatan ini berpanjangan. kami sudah berlagak seperti kami telah berkawan selama 23 tahun.

ashvina marie naidu. terima kasih sayang. i love you. happy birthday.

From Avaaz.org’s Ricken Patel – Wow — wake up call was amazing

Dear all,

Wow. Monday’s Wake Up call was unbelievable – 2632 events in 134 countries, tens of thousands of phone calls crashing government lines, unbelievable creativity and diversity of events, directly reaching heads of state and cabinet ministers from Australia to Europe. Words can’t describe it — this video gets close:

Watch the Video!

The Wake Up call was covered by hundreds of major news outlets and made the evening news everywhere from Germany to New Zealand. Europe’s environment chief praised “the mobilisation of so many people by Avaaz.org”, the UK Prime Minister became the first major world leader to agree to our demand to go to Copenhagen and said that with “the pressure that can brought by organizations like yours…what people think is impossible can become possible”. The Spanish environment minister called the action “extraordinary”.

World leaders have heard us. But as Tuesday’s UN summit showed, one day of action won’t be enough to get real progress on climate. We need to come back again and again, louder and louder, until we get a fair, ambitious and binding climate treaty.

We’ll keep the pressure high through the TCKTCKTCK campaign until Copenhagen, with another global day of action on October 24th, and start planning right now for the LARGEST CLIMATE MOBILIZATION IN HISTORY ON DECEMBER 12th, in the final days of the Copenhagen negotiations.

Avaaz is now 3.6 million members strong in 14 languages, in every country of the world. On Monday, our movement took a huge step forward — we showed that we can not only send millions of messages to leaders or donate millions to worthy causes, but that in just a few days we can flood the streets and crash phone lines from Mexico City to Mumbai.

If we stick together, anything is possible.

With hope and excitement for the future,

Ricken, Ben, Paul, Milena, Alice, Luis, Brett, Taren, Margaret, Iain, Pascal, Graziela, Paula, Benjamin, Rajeev, Veronique, Raluca, Julius, Yuri, Saravanan, Vladimir, Tihomir, Sam, Emma and the whole Avaaz team

PS – the video above was made from over 10,000 wake up call pictures and 600 videos uploaded to Avaaz in just 24 hours! There were many tears among people making the video as we saw the amazing dedication of everyone, from the Avaaz community to our TCKTCKTCK campaign partners to people joining the first climate action of their lives. Click here to see the video of this amazing movement in action: https://secure.avaaz.org/en/sept21_hub

—————–

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ABOUT AVAAZ Avaaz.org is an independent, not-for-profit global campaigning organization that works to ensure that the views and values of the world’s people inform global decision-making. (Avaaz means “voice” in many languages.) Avaaz receives no money from governments or corporations, and is staffed by a global team based in Ottawa, London, Rio de Janeiro, New York, Buenos Aires, and Geneva. Click here to learn more about our largest campaigns. Don’t forget to check out our Facebook and Myspace and Bebo pages! You can also follow Avaaz on Twitter!

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Selamat Hari Saya

Quick Note.

(ah, I know, it’s a lie. I don’t do small notes)

It has been awhile since I wrote anything, so it’s only natural to write on my birthday.

I used to write a LONG MEMO counting down my birthday. But, I’m not born at 12 midnight. Hehe. It was evening. I think. I’ll double check with the pops later on.

I got a lot of work to do, but stealing this moment to thank every single one of you. For your presence in my life journey. For your cameo. Be it bad or good, long or brief.

I think I’ve grown a lot the past year. Every single day, little achievements and little moments.

This year, I took some chances in allowing strangers to receive my abundant love energy.

The best birthday wish, hands down, from Angelia’s little munkeys who sang “Happy Birthday Aunty Abby”.

Alongside with my mum’s wish for me to be “A Good Person” and my dad’s hope that I “Take care of myself”. Simple words bring huge meaning if said with such trust, sincerity and honesty. My parents know the person I have grown up to be, and with their constant prayers, this is who I have become, this person that you learn to love or hate.

And now, I’d like to recite my poem for you, who has loved me and still loves me and will love me as long as I will live.

What is this gloominess?

You.

What is in this bag of eyes?

Surpressed tears.

What is behind that reluctant smile?

Longing.

What is in that deep thought?

Memories.

what is hidden in this heavy heart?

Love.

What is installed for the future?

I don’t know.

What happened to the past?

I forgot.

Who do you want to meet?

The Beloved.

When?

When I finish telling everyone that I love them.

Surah 93. The Morning Hours, Morning Bright!

By the Glorious Morning Light, And by the Night when it is still, Thy Guardian-Lord hath not forsaken thee, nor is He displeased. And verily the Hereafter will be better for thee than the present. And soon will thy Guardian-Lord give thee (that wherewith) thou shalt be well-pleased. Did He not find thee an orphan and give thee shelter (and care)? And He found thee wandering, and He gave thee guidance. And He found thee in need, and made thee independent. Therefore, treat not the orphan with harshness, Nor repulse the petitioner (unheard); But the bounty of the Lord – rehearse and proclaim! (Verse 1 – 11)

A Beautiful Hadith

Rasulullah (Sallallahu alaihi wasallam) said: ‘When a man dies and his relatives are busy in funeral, there stands an extremely handsome man by his head. When the dead body is shrouded, that man gets in between the shroud and the chest of the deceased.

Thereafter he turns to his dead companion and says, ‘I am the Qur’an, which you used to read, sometimes in a loud voice and sometimes in a low voice. Do not worry. After the interrogation of Munkar and Naker, you will have no grief.’

When the interrogation is over, the handsome man arranges for him from Al-Mala’ul A’laa (the angels in Heaven) silk bedding filled with musk.

Rasulullah (Sallallahu alaihi wasallam) said: ‘On the Day of Judgement, before Allah, no other Intercessor will have a greater status than the Qur’an, neither a Prophet nor an angel.’

Rasulullah (Sallallahu alaihi wasallam) said:
‘Pass on knowledge from me even if it is only one verse’.

May Allah bestow this favour on all of us.

Rasulullah (Sallallahu alaihi wasallam) bersabda : ‘Bila seseorang lelaki itu mati dan saudaranya sibuk dengan pengebumiannya, berdiri lelaki yang betul-betul kacak di bahagian kepalanya. Bila mayatnya dikapan, lelaki itu berada di antara kain kapan dan si mati.

Selepas pengebumian, semua orang pulang ke rumah, 2 malaikat Mungkar dan Nakir, datang dalam kubur dan cuba memisahkan lelaki kacak ini supaya mereka boleh menyoal lelaki yang telah meninggal itu seorang diri mengenai ketaatannya kepada Allah. Tapi lelaki kacak itu berkata, “Dia adalah temanku, dia adalah kawan ku. Aku takkan meninggalkannya seorang diri walau apa pun. Jika kamu ditetapkan untuk menyoal, lakukanlah tugasmu. Aku tidak boleh meninggalkannya sehingga aku dapati dia dimasukkan ke dalam Syurga.’

Selepas itu dia berpaling pada temannya yang meninggal dan berkata,’Aku adalah Al-Quran, yang mana kamu membacanya, kadang-kadang dengan suara yang nyaring dan kadang-kadang dengan suara yang perlahan. Jangan bimbang. Selepas soal siasat dari Mungkar dan Nakir, kamu tidak akan bersedih.’

Selepas soal siasat selesai, lelaki kacak mengatur untuknya daripada Al-Mala’ul A’laa (malaikat dalam Syurga) tempat tidur dari sutera yang dipenuhi bauan kesturi

Rasulullah (Sallallahu alaihi wasallam) bersabda :’Di hari pengadilan, di hadapan Allah, tiada syafaat yang lebih baik darjatnya daripada Quran, mahupun dari nabi atau malaikat.’

Do not grieve over that which has passed you by in life, for indeed you have been blessed with much. Contemplate the many favors and gifts that Allah has bestowed upon you and be thankful to Him for them. Remind yourself of Allah’s many blessings, for Him, the Almighty, said: And if you would count the graces of Allah, never could you be able to count them. (Qur’an 16: 18)

a prayer

A: Tonight I cried during prayer. I cried when I asked for strength. The strength I need to give love. I thought of you. And your kind pure heart. I am so grateful to be a passerby in your path. What you did for the kids was amazing. What you did for yourself is commendable. I pray for your peace, composure, joy. Goodnight. Assalamualaikum.

V: I heart you so much Abby. Sitting in front of Kaabah, and praying for you is my gift for a dear dear friend like you.. Alhamdulillah syukur pada Allah swt for such wonderful blessing for having you in my life’s journey. Alhamdulillah. Waalaikumsalam, Abby. Rest well.

Dear God. I want to love so badly. But give me the strength to love, to give and give, the affordability to give relentlessly, to tell people I love them and mean it, to make people smile when they think of the love I give. Like my friends who loves me endlessly even though they are not related to me.

Dear God, if ‘jodoh’ is not in my books, let me love others, for I now am helpless. I have no money to give, I have no status to pride around. All I have is just words. Words to share about love. How wonderful love is when it’s shared among strangers whom we never knew before. Love that can kill of anger, hatred, arrogance, pride and erase boundaries.

Dear God, I am most grateful for all that you’ve given me. Forgive my wrongdoings in life. I am a weak soul. I am vulnerable and fragile. That’s why I ask for strength. And only to You we all ask for forgiveness and strength. For You are the All KNowing, Master of Everything and Owns everything in this World and Life.

After 52 years, are we, the urban citizens, more civilised than our ‘kampung’ people?

There’s a lot of things that have happened the past 52 years. 6 Prime Ministers. One Independence. An ‘invi(si)ncible Social Contract. One May 13th Tragedy. Several Political Parties. No Sekolah Wawasan. One Majlis Amanah Rakyat (Melayu).

I don’t normally talk about politics. I hate it.

I live in a world where the PEOPLE around me loves each other beyond our race, colour, gender, culture and nationality. We are binded by LOVE and GOOD(HEARTED)WILL. We believe in upholding (not fighting) for the right causes. We are self-sufficient with great support system from the people who love us. We are spiritual and respectful of other people’s faith, belief and principles. We believe in doing good deeds to other Human Beings, Animals, and Nature.

Then, I saw the television news. And the newspapers.

I saw a different world.

One, which is divided by its own Government, all for political reasons. Power. Authority. And … Money.

I had an argument (sort of) with an acquaintance over my Facebook status which reads:-

Dear Government of MALAYsia, are you sure you’re preaching about having 1Malaysia, not 1MALAYsia? Are you sure MALAYs are the ONE ISLAMIC SUPERIOR RACE which God has granted you the rights to insult OTHER human beings with vulgar words and insulting acts?

He replied:
Its depends on how we determine this agenda..bkn semua melayu yg bertindak sedemikian ttp hanya segelintir..bila bangsa/agama lain memperkatakan ttg bangsa/agama kita..kita melayu islam hanya mampu lihat sahaja..melayu/islam di malaysia sudah terlalu byk bertoleransi dengan bangsa/agama yg lain..kita perlu hormat mereka dan mereka perlu hormat kita…Melayu hendak ke mana klu inilah saja negara kita…only my 2 cents…

Abby:
Entahla H. Saya dikelilingi 80% kawan-kawan bukan Melayu dan mereka sangat sayangkan negara ini. Saya bukan defensive on my friends, but saya sedih how right now, POLITICAL PARTIES are using MALAY AND ISLAM to win agendas, not for the sake of humanity. Memang bukan salah kaum melayu sahaja, memang ada salah kaum lain. Saya ada kawan kaum India yang sendiri mengaku “some Indians are worst than Nazis”. It all depends on Individual itself, not the race, but right now, I’m refering to OUR GOVERNMENT. Who duduk di tepi apabila segelintir Melayu memijak kepala Lembu untuk insult kaum India, apabila segelintir Melayu memegang banner mengatakan DAP itu babi dan sebagainya di BULAN RAMADHAN, tetapi menangkap 15 orang India yang hanya menyalakan lilin untuk mengadakan Candlelight Vigil for the atrocious act to ridicule their faith done by the Malays.

Melayu boleh hidup di mana-mana. Selagi kita faham mengenai asal usul kita dan kita mempunyai peribadi yang dihormati orang lain. Tidak melayu hilang di dunia. Tetapi with what’s happening now, I’m sad to being a Malay when other Malays menconteng arang ke bangsa sendiri dengan berkelakuan biadap dan tidak berperi kemanusian.

He replied:
saya setuju dgn apa yg abby ckp..hal ni dh lama berlaku dlm society kita even dpn mata kita sendiri kita blh nmpk..bukan semua india/cina seburuk yg mana kita sangka same juga melayu bkn semua mcm tu..sbb tu lah setiap apa yg kita buat kita kena fikir apa effect dia pd society..abby..DAP dan rakan2 mereka lagi teruk menghentan mekayu/islam didalam artikel/journal mereka..mereka tak exposed pendirian mereka pd umum tp disebaliknya..sbb apa 15 indian tu kena tahan? apa motif nk buat majlis tu..knp mereka xnak buat di tempat ibadah mereka? kadang2 terlalu byk hidden agenda yg kita tak nmpki lihat abby…

abby..mmg melayu blh hidup dimana2 tp kita masih mencari asas tanah tumpah darah kita..melayu dah ada diseluruh dunia dan saya percaya mereka akn kembali ke Malaysia juga nnt..

Abby:
“sbb apa 15 indian tu kena tahan? apa motif nk buat majlis tu”

Candlelight Vigil is usually an event where we pay grief to what has happened and light a candle of hope.

(Wikipedia defined it as “A candlelight vigil is an outdoor assembly of people carrying candles, held after sunset. Such events are typically held either to protest the suffering of some marginalized group of people, or in memory of lives lost to some disease, disaster, massacre or other tragedy.”)

That’s why we have to understand and study each other. Ilmu pengetahuan is the key element to purpose of life, that’s why God’s first commands were “Iqra’ (Read)”

Kenapa sekumpulan kaum melayu sanggup membunuh seekor kerbau (bukan menyembelihnya untuk dijadikan rezeki), mengheret kepala kerbau tersebut, dan memijaknya, DAN polis duduk di tepi dan tengok?

Kita lupa, kita bukan sahaja Melayu, TETAPI KITA ADALAH MAKHLUK ALLAH, patut mempunyai peri kemanusiaan.

DAP menghentam Melayu di dalam artikel dan jurnal dan sebagai Melayu, kita perlu berarak memegang banner yang mengatakan “DAP Macam Babi” ? Ya Allah, macam orang bodoh kan. Kita hentam je la dengan kepandaian kita, bukannya susah sangat.

Bumi Allah jadikan ni luas. Di mana sahaja kita berada, if we are honest, faithful and courteous, should be okay. Nabi Nuh pun kena berhijrah, Nabi Muhammad pun berhijrah. Apa salahnya?

He didn’t reply after that. I don’t know whether he has lost his words or he gave up thinking I’m too sekular for this conversation and that I have lost my faith in defending people from other faith.

I grew up in a very Malay environment. Although my family moved every 3 years while I was growing up and from those 7 schools I’ve been to, I have met a lot of people, I was thrown into a 100% Malay society for about nearly 11 years, from 14 years old until 25 years old. One Malay boarding school and 2 UiTM campuses.

Then of course, I worked in an NGO where it was practically sort of a government office environment, another 100% Malay environment for a whole year.

I adore 50% of the people from all my 12 years of 100% Malay environment, don’t get me wrong. After awhile of growing up and meeting A LOT OF PEOPLE, I learned to look beyond race, and see everyone as an individual. I do throw racist remarks sometimes, I am honest and I’m not a hypocrite. But, mostly not to condemn a whole race. It’s more like directly to identify a particular individual especially when I’m on the road. Although most of the time, it’s not just based on race, it’s also based on gender and other things. We are, naturally, discriminating human beings. But those were done when I’m alone and in the car, so I won’t hurt anyone and anyone won’t hear it. Thus, no damages have been made, nor hearts have been hurt.

No, it’s not the same.

Shouting “Get away dog, don’t come here” and thinking “That dog should go away, I don’t want it to come here” is different.

One is acted on. The other, is a thought. One is said outloud which will be heard and can be used as an evidence, one, is … intangible and unknown.

Yes, call me a coward.

Valentine’s Day, February 14th 2006. I was mugged. I was mugged at knife-point, on a deserted pedestrian bridge and got a scratch from it on my wrist. I got mugged in 5 minutes. BUT, it took me 2 police stations and nearly 2 hours to lodge a police report, where in the end, the Inspector in Charge told me “Kita akan tunggu lagi beberapa report daripada kawasan tersebut sebelum kita ambil tindakan”. I was initially reluctant to lodge the report because it was already 10.30pm, I was partially traumatised and tired from crying, but my dad said, the perpetrator used a weapon and being an army officer, an official of national security himself, he advised me, that’s the only civic thing to do, because this mugger might, in the future, hurt someone.

Then, we heard, rumours of a protest, and only based on rumours, not that the rumour actually took place, dozens of police stationed for road blocks for no apparent reason, which caused some people to probably be late for important meetings, lose chances to score a job interview, and ambulances to get to the hospitals a minute too late.

I was triggered to write this post because I just revealed an incident to my friend that happened to me a few weeks back.

I was walking back to my car from the office around 8ish pm. I passed by a dark parking lot at Jalan Tun Sambanthan to get to my car which I parked near Jalan Vivekananda off Jalan Tun Sambanthan. So, as I was walking in the dark untarred parking lot, I heard someone whistled calling for my attention. There under the shaded parking space, 2 policemen and 2 civilians were sitting nearby a motorcyle parked there. One of the policeman called for me to stop from afar while his friend walked to me. When he came near me, I noticed his “Polis Integriti” badge.

Policeman: Ni nak pergi mana ni? Dari mana?

Abby: Errr … ke kereta. Dari ofis.

Policeman: Orang mana?

Abby: Errr … Malaysia?

Policeman: Minta I/C

Abby: (struggling to get I/C from bag) Kenapa ni?

Policeman: Nak check.

*hands in I/C*

Policeman: Hurm … Nurol Akma …

Abby: Nak tengok lesen memandu sekali ke?

*Policeman showed annoyed face*

POliceman: Awak tengah memandu ke sekarang? Orang minta elok elok, jangan la kurang ajar.

Abby: Takde la, saja tanya kalau nak check.

*policeman hands back the I/C*

Policeman: Nah.

I grabbed it and walked away furiously.

I should’ve taken his ID number, and asked for the purpose of them stopping me. But I was too tired from work to even bother and already mad because I was stopped like an immigrant in my own country.

So ………….

It’s sad to be a Malaysian in this country we call home.

It’s sad and confusing especially for me. I fear reading the news because from where I stand, I saw a nice greeny meadow with people playing kites, dancing to music, hugging each other and having fun, and when I read the news, it’s another realm of fighting, cursing, insulting and to one point, bloods might be shed for this crazy battle of claiming ownership over this land.

Ini bumi tempat tumpah darah kita. Tetapi KITA means orang yang dilahirkan di Bumi Malaysia, orang yang sayangkan Bumi Malaysia. Ini bukan hanya BUMI MELAYU. Ini BUMI MALAYSIA.

If we’re attacked by a foreign enemy, Do you think we have enough Malays to defend our country? Some of them might be scared shit and stay quietly at home because they’re helpless little scared shitholes.

Okay …

Maybe I just wait for the Government to send me to exile in Seychelles island so I can be a country-less island hottie without having to spend on travel agents. 😉