You know what doesn’t kill you? Adversity.

Tipsy galore:

Closed the car door and left the keys inside. Took the keys, closed the car door, dropped the house keys. Blwrgh.
Went inside the room, switched on the fan instead of the lights. Undressed in the dark. Blwgh. Parents are awake. Well, a parent is. Pretend dead in room. Colonel is awake. Must pretend dead. Dear pee, hold on for a bit, will ya. Ttttttttiiiiiiiippoopopopopopoopoppo. Woke up in the middle of the night dehydrated. And dreamed I was indigenous. Sekian. Okay. 4.20am is not the middle of the night.

Hangover-ish. Breakfast date at 10-ish. Ish ish ish.

This is ridiculous. Kata dah bank in Tuesday 8pm, but why Thursday 9am tak float lagi? Mesti client sudah tipu saya. Tak baik tipu rezeki.

Lauryn Hill punya lyrics “A Muslim sleeping with a gin” is altered on radio airplay??!

Samseng ye kau WAY 2879. Sial ye kau on the road?! Bawak kereta macam pelesit!

Seriously, Maybank is starting to annoy me. I need to line up at my opening branch just to know the status of my cheque. And then, Maybank can’t check my account if I don’t register phone banking at the fucking ATM? Never had this problem with CIMB. They did all the checking just from my AC number via the phone. Sorry Maybank for throwing tweetfit like that. But I still think the going to the ATM to activate everything is a BIG FUSS.

Mood Swings only mean one thing. Better talk to God while I can. Tweetfits and bitchfits will only annoy people here.

When I don’t ask for help because my burden is my own responsibility, why are people calling it ego? Is it my selfish ego that I don’t want to burden people with my own problems?

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Parliament dah tengok. Mahkamah dah tengok. Semua dah tengok. Aku pun dah tengok.

Good Morning everyone! Be safe!

Walking around Jalan Ipoh in front of KLPAC to find a mamak that look dodgy enough to sell my Gudang Garam.

Isra’ Mikraj ke today? Hurm …. I often got it confused with Lailatul Qadar.

I got an hour to makan and check my emails before meeting at 1pm. Good thing Ian can come over to this place instead of me going to Harvest.

Kalau check banked in at 8pm last night, supposedly when will it start floating? Bankers, wanna help me here? Shit, I mean, CHEQUE, not check. That’s very American.

How much is the ticket for Urbanscapes? Is it no longer under KLUE?

Tak banyak tweet aku pagi ni. Sebab aku tak baca news. Sekian.

ZodiacFacts
– As a #Libra,remember that sitting on the fence and fearing even to attempt is not the formula for success.
– #Libras are incredibly idealistic when it comes to love, and they can decide exactly how they want their partner to be.

Siemens Run 2011? No thanks. Mak dah tak kuat macam dulu dah nok. MPSJ Run 2011? No thanks. Tak larat mak nak lari 10km tak dapat air pun. What a bad organisation of the water station.

I don’t like certificates. It’s just a paper. My portfolio should just have my CV and Recommendation letters.

I feel bad. I met Ian and another lady from Harvest Centre whom I forgot what her name was. I will kill myself becos she’s such a nice lady. It could be Christina. Oh shoot Abby! She made you some good chinese tea when you were there at her office! *shoots own head* I hate my memory. I can’t remember people’s name. My dory memory is a shame! Her name is Stephanie! Hahahahah! Thanked god! Thanks Bestie for guiding me through my shameless endeavour getting her name. She paid for my food. The least I can do is to remember her name. Itu pun I can’t do. Sad innit. I’m such a bad person.

I haven’t had any decent vacation for a long time. No, hanging out with friends at Bangsar is not a vacation.

3.30pm and not floating yet. Hurm.

If my report for duty date be postponed til 15th July, I get to have one more week with the kids. That’ll be good, right. 🙂

FINALLY! No unread mails! Now, news!

Feels for something sweet for energy. Where can I get a very nice and good apple pie in Bangsar area? Don’t say McDees.

Why can’t we select the candidates that we want to vote for instead? Why must it be from a political party? More saints doing work out there

Banyak sangat #Bersih tags on my timeline. Good luck Guys!

Pretty waiter girl has a very nice clean set of teeth. Now that’s sexy. And she smiles a lot. BONUS POINTS. 🙂 I’m a bit shy. The cute waiter girl is in front of me. Everytime I lift up my head, she caught my eyes and smiles. I tunduk. Malu. *blush* Keeping my head down. *blush*

Dari tadi dok tenong article ni dari tadi. Aku blame BBM dan Whatsapp. You guys know who you are.

Ahli politik laksana Tok Dalang, ligat bercerita, memukau si kera. Pengikut lagak kera keriangan, pantang dicabar, galak melonjak.

Morning! Detroit City Rock.

Meeting was very good. And to think I was handpicked is quite brilliant. And then Abby pergi cucuk duit masuk tempat keluar baki at the Autopay. Not so brilliant after all.

Terlelap-lelap dalam kereta. Mana wifi McDees ni?!!!

Jibby talking about engaging with the youth by holding pre-nuptial courses. Regret much, Jibby? ;-P Jibby said Barisan is a sellable brand. But why aren’t the people buying? Becos Rosmah is not leading by example. She buys LVs.

Malaysian Board of Engineers said staying in bed during earthquakes could minimise the chances of getting hurt. Very smart indeed ah?!

The greenest people are those just indulging in daun ketum. Layan syiok.

No. 1, 2, and what’s No. 3 again?

How do you wake up in the morning feeling like P.Diddy, Keisha? Oh, sorry, it’s Ke$ha. Ching ceching ching. She wants to wake up as P. Diddy and date a Mick Jagger. This teenager is whacked.

Did you know that the first black man who sings the adhan, Bilal bin Rabah is an Ethiopian?

Ah, kiddo. How I miss kiddo. She’s 21 this year. There’s a reason. Why we stop there. Just read a haiku that Kiddo wrote. Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww…. I’ve always told her she could write.

Stop thinking about the ground and landing, because it’s all about falling.

Hurm. People supporting Bintang Tiga and ChinPeng. Why? I have my reason. Dad fought and protected the borders. Great grandparents burnt alive at the Beko incident. Forgive me, I’m against them. Malaysian calling themselves Malaysian while wearing and parading tshirts with the Communist leaders printed is like supporting Hitler. Memang la patut kena tahan. I understand why Abah is against all these rally, street protestors, people calling them saviours for standing up for the nation. The real soldiers who were protecting borders, sacrificing their lives and leaving families for months, tak pernah dapat such recognition. We have a generation that doesn’t even know what is Tugu Negara, never saw or appreciate Hari Pahlawan. Saddening. Kampung Bekor is among the villages that was burned by the Communist Party ruthlessly because they won’t accept Communist rule in 1946. Opah only told me the story last year. Her grandparents were burnt alive while in their home in Kampung Bekor. So you go la, support ChinPeng

I hope Opah gets better, so she can tell me more stories of my ancestors. Oral history is fascinating. People ignores them much too often. Opah also said we share a lineage that tracks back to Tok Sagor, the man who killed J.W.W. Birch. Well, Sepuntum killed him, not Tok Sagor. My Opah rocks. She was among the first and youngest teachers in her time. She started teaching when she was 12 years old.

We also lack paid concert and roadtours. I remember paying and watching Ella in concert in 1993.

Okay, forgive me for my french. But kimak aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!! Janji isnin, postpone jumaat, dah nak 6pm, tak masuk masuk lagi!!!!!!!!!!! Ini dah Selasa bai!!!!! Urgh! Tak baik la tak tunai janji!

Women’s World Cup. Feisty!

PM’s & DPM’s houses’ electricity bills are costing RM5,704 a day and water bill more than RM1,092 a day. GILA APA?!??!!!!!!! Oh. That’s why we can’t afford to buy houses. We’re paying for theirs. Hah!

Okay, off to teach Benjy some Bahasa Melayu.

Baru je nak masuk Sayembara Puisi kat Kuching, tapi 18-25 je. Bangang! Look at me! I look 22 la weh!

Siapa yang sudah remixkan lagu SWV Right Here ni? Chris Brown? Ish. Aku pukul karang!

I asked Ben to include the word ‘musibah’ in his essay. He asked, “Can I put Musibah as the name of the guy?” Bijak sangat. I said yes. Aiyoh, why la my student so loyar buruk wan. Ben oh Ben.

So weird, this movie When In Rome got so many amazing actors but wth is this storyline? Wth is this story – When In Rome ??!!! One of the most stupidest storyline. Just made Kristen Bell look like b-rate actress! Wtf! Omg! Omg! Don Johnson as her dad. Angelica Houston. Danny deVito. Shaq o Neil. That Napolean Dynamite guy. All in a sucky movie?! Eiiiii, tiru scene Fellini! Urgh! Cerita paling pelik dan menghampakan! Wtf! Jangan tengok cerita When In Rome. Rasa nak sepak diri sendiri! When In Rome is like a bunch of great actors decided to, “Jom berlakon cerita yang gampang bengap once awhile jom.” Dah la guna Adele’s “Make You Feel My Love” as soundtrack! Urgh! When In Rome is like genocide of movie lovers.

Ifa Raziah berlakon jadi YB? Wtf? Is this a secret plot to kill my brain??!!

Mama got her Byond bill. Hah! Kan dah kata dah, mahal! Takde bezanya HD or not pun. Nasib dia I yang bayar bil Astro kat rumah.

When someone you don’t know “pokes” you on FB, do you have an option to say “WTF??!!” … Well, FB should have that option.

Slept on the couch. Abah woke me up, complaining he can’t print, something is wrong. Rupanya, the USB cable is not connected. Duh. Morning! Bet the 59 year-old university lecturer doesn’t feel so smart now. And why is he printing a bunga raya picture?

News first or Stretching first? Okay, stretching first. I need to have a flexible body to get mentally tortured. Hah.

Love how Bob Schieffer actually told Michele Bachmann off when she didn’t jawab soalan. And it sound very professional too. U.S. congress suggest that abolishing minimum wage can increase job creation. They should see Malaysia. We still have unemployment issues. At the end of the day, EVERY SINGLE POLITICIAN has their personal agenda and it’s sad to see some people follow them blindly. Corruption comes with power, like it or not. That’s why the true honest leaders does not want power.

Just because we appreciate our funny bones, doesn’t mean we’re not serious people. Funny people are mostly serious people.

Reached my 20 free NYT articles monthly limit. Cannot read NYT articles anymore. Boo!

Couldn’t find Vanity Fair at Borders the other day. Borders is starting to disappoint me. Seriously. Hari tu, GLAM pun takde. Shesshh…

Noel Coward. What a weird and sad surname.

So, Adik is ARE DEQ now?

You fight a demo with a demo. If I have it my way, do a hartal. Just sit peacefully at an area that doesn’t disrupt any activities. Find a park and just lounge. Stop all business activities. Don’t kacau the streets. Do it woodstock style. Provoking your government is just going to jeopardise your own ethics. Wearing black or yellow is not an action to clean the electoral system. Shoot me, but that’s my honest opinion. Just because I don’t vote or pay tax, doesn’t mean I’m less patriotic than you are. Just because you talk, rant and know more about political issues, doesn’t mean you’re more patriotic than I am.

Penyakit potong kuku kaki sampai sangat pendek. My doctor said it shouldn’t be that short. I disagree.

Pulling out salonpas macam wax je. Rasa naked sungguh sekarang.

This year’s mission, impregnate a gay guy with his own sperm. Hehehehehehehehehehehe…..

Huish, sedapnya bau makcik belakang masak. Kalau ikut rukun jiran, makanan yang boleh dibau jiran tetangga layak dikongsi bersama.

I wish all those rallying on 9th July the best of luck and safety. Rallying/public demonstration is against my personal principle. But I won’t impose my beliefs on others. You practice what you believe in. To Each, His Own.

No, break and berak is not the same, Abby. Wait. Maybe it is.

Khairy Jamaluddin has some charming charisma, feasible for a political career. But is he fighting for the people? I don’t think so. That’s the problem when you have elitists as politicians. They talk the talk, but they walk on a silver platter, not with the people. They will never know what it’s like to be broke, to be living like a pauper, to survival with least means. You want to be provocative? Wear a YELLOW POLKA DOT bikini during the BERSIH rally. The water guns will do everyone tremendous favour. Note to those who decided to take my advice and wear a yellow polka dot bikini for the Bersih rally, bring a pair of fluffy handcuffs too. Nak buat gossip, gua akan pergi chinese massage yang buat cupping macam bekam tu, pastu join rally, pastu kata gua kena tibai, kan?

Can’t take a joke? Kasihan.

Just read that Mahathir’s premiership was a cruel regime. Hurm. I was brought up during his tenure, fully under 21 years of his service. I never had a day that I don’t have food on my table, or the country was invaded with enemies forcing people out of their homes. I wonder if how I was brought up is actually under a cruel regime, what is the gratitude level of this country?

I was going thru my stuff. I came across your Passport picture that you let me keep. My heart breaks again. Saya rindu awak. 😦 Life goes on. Saya letak gambar awak di dalam kotak kasut tempat saya simpan semua poskad-poskad saya.

Chill.

Doesn’t like how things are going. 😦 …………………….

Padma Laksmi. Y U NO grow fat in cooking shows like someone name Maria? (oooops)

I enjoy your mind. It wanders, like mine. And that makes our conversation exceptionally amazing.

Split-brain patients suffer from Alien-hand syndrome: while one hand buttons up a shirt; the other hand works to unbutton it. They sure make good drummers tho.

Homicidal somnambulism = a case of killing while sleepwalking.

Q: Is a child doing poorly at school because he is unmotivated and slow, or because there is a neurobiologically based learning disability?

Recidivism is a habitual relapse into crime.

Right after I finish my very black and strong cup of coffee, I yawn.

Homer Simpson at the computer. Monitor says, “Press any key to continue.” Homer asks, “Where’s the ANY key?” – told by baby sis.

Finally! Found my phone pouch! Now I go eat my egg and go to sleep after. Good night y’all. Rest well!

Keluar tak banyak. Urgh, not impressive at all!

Woke up to a funny tummy.

Kakiku. Oh. Kakiku.

I go tidur now. Bye bye.

Just woke up. Hello world.

OMG. My feet. The pain. This is what happens when you run in a RM50 shoes. (Salahkan kasut juga) Should I sambung nap or minum kopi?

Dear Toilet, gua baru duduk lu dah flush! Talk about untimely efficiency.

I don’t believe in marriages because it’s not for me. Plain and simple, like religion.

Selamat pagi semua. Jangan lupa buang taik mata. Sekian.

Kolonel Zulkifli, an uncle who once stayed at our house in Queenscliff, passed away while flying an acrobatic plane yesterday. Al-Fatihah.

ZodiacFacts
– As a #Libra,Naturally creative and intuitive you have a way with words, written or spoken.
– As a #Libra,Tender Tact, Sincere Charm and Unflappable Diplomacy Your deepest desire is to maintain meaningful connections with people.
– As a #Libra,You are gracious, entertaining, and have a glowing appeal that naturally draws people to you.
– As a #Libra,You don’t like being put on the spot, especially if it’s on your own territory.
– #Libra Women Sexual Match : Aries, Taurus, Cancer, Leo, Libra, Sagittarius
– Lesbian #Libra Women Sexual Match : Leo, Sagittarius

Abah bought manggis. Manggis be my most favourite local fruit, durian only comes after that.

Kalau lu olang ingat wa tipu, satgi wa twitpic from atas bumbung. Dah pernah panjat 2 kali dah. Rasa sungguh gagah.

Don’t critic party, target on the politicians. Diaorang yang hampeh. UMNO ke, PKR ke, Apa ke, yang bezanya is the dumbass politicians.

Apparently BlackBerry can also do internet tethering via Tether, an app that costs US$29.90. Better get an Android and iPhone for built-in.

Couldn’t find my white Zara highcuts. Siapa ambil kasut aku ni??!!

Oh, today a year after Michael left us is it?

They’re playing the Party Rock Anthem. You know what would be cool? If everyone starts a shufflin’ flashmob.

Idle. Dan. Mengantuk. Baby dykes. Abundance. Amboi, sedapnya kau bukak baju tengah laman bang. Badan yang tak seberapa tu takyah la nak tunjuk-tunjuk. Nampak kusam je. Just saw some real otai skinheads.

Dear Self, you will die soon. From this crowd.

Even the Arabs pun tak paksa anak kecil mereka pakai hijab. I’ve seen a makcik Melayu buat anak 9 year old dia pakai tudung and kaftan. Gila. A pak arab walk hand in hand with his teenager son. Sweet. We don’t have that much affection among the Malays.

My adik-adik will have to endure a long tiring lecture on the way home for making me wait an hour after I called them to wrap up!

I got Najwa’s “Jealousy” to soothe my soul in the mean time.

“Jealousy. Has taken over me. I can’t let nobody. Take you away from me. Jealousy. Has got me going crazy. Can’t let go of my baby.”

There are 2 types of people I don’t befriend. Fakes. Haters. And Akon.

They played a Kelantanese dangdut. “Saye bagimu, suko-suko.” And before that, I was literally singing to Kopi Dangdut. Pecah lobang mak!

Time to set out my playlist! I’m not running a marathon. It’s just 10km. It’s not a marathon. 🙂

Hai Unifi, buffering ke?

LL Cool J. Your body is a SIN. No one should have packs like that. NO ONE.

Telur di hujung tanduk. Sengetkan sikit tanduk tu. Tengok telur tu stabil atau tidak. I’m very happy with my iPod shuffle playlist. Now. Now. Tanduk, come on!

A movie dialogue stated that the vagina is a moist cavity between the legs. Ni bangsa kencing tak basuh ke?

Good Morning all. Started my day with a very intense 30SX chat. Yeah, interpret it all you want. Breakfast time!

Just watched the Barbara Streisand by Duck Sauce videoclip. Don’t know if this is more disturbingly hilarious than moist cavity or not. Just saw Carrie Underwood’s sexy legs. Contemplating if I should go out or back to bed now. *coughs* Noticed Sheila E was doing the percussions for Marc Anthony’s performance in AI performance. Sheila E is the bomb! Sheila E is the ultimate sex force! Anyone can play amazingly brilliant percussions with a hot body and short dress WIN!!!

OMG, just saw a clip from Indonesian Idol. I am so ashamed of all of our singing contests now. You put half of all Akademi Fantasia finalists also cannot compare. Their finalist sounds like recording artists!

What I would give to go to a Sade concert.

The only reason I would tint my windows is if I’m going to shag people in it. ‘It’ being my car la.

That amazing feeling when the speeding fucker behind you had to go to the middle lane wanting to overtake you but a slow uncle in front him. Makes you want a sticker saying “Fast huh? Why are you still at my ass, Bitch!”

The one great thing about my BB is my BBM group chat. Amazing Cekopes! Love them to bits!

Come on Celcom, process faster will you?! Okay, let me finish this DiGi credit first.

Oh the Belgian A. C., how I miss you correcting my english in my SRI reports. But you’re a client, so be it. I oblige.

So I’m not getting the cheque today just because you’re not in the office??!! I believe rezeki itu di tangan Tuhan tapi tak baik disekat. You’re lucky that I’m a very very patient person. There’s one thing I don’t believe in fighting against, which is TIME and FATE. You’re lucky that I’m the kind of person who believes that you only pay me when I deliver my work, so I’m paid for my effort, not before. Maybe I am that ignorant hippie who does not have any security in terms of wealth. But everyday, I’m blessed with food, shelter and love.

Dear Europeans, in Asia Pacific, executives are not managers. Please don’t fucking say my comments are irrelevant you retarded imbeciles!

The only thing good today is that vege boy is handling this very well, has been very respectful and nice to me. 5 points for vegeboy! Re-do my report? Perkara kecil. Gonna shove it down your inbox ass when you start your day, Brussels!

Lapar macam gampang. Off to Shah Alam to pick up baby sis and her dirty laundry.

Fiqah asked if I wanted to use her lipstick sambil kata, “Ini kaler naked.” I replied, “Baik Kak Yang buka baju je, Fiqah.”

Baby sis just told me, some of her friends asked if I’m her mom. And she said, “Yalah, my second mom lorr.” We just danced in the poetry aisle after reading out loud Allen Ginsberg’s HOWL. In Borders The Curve. I’m fun like that.

A friend once met Liya Kebede in a market at Sudan, she just finished a shoot and they chatted. So I’m 2 degrees away from Liya Kebede? ;-P

I just winked at the kakak tol yang ranggi. Hope she doesn’t get the wrong message. That wasn’t me flirting. Me flirting is words.

Approached by another headhunter for another CSR job. Hurm. Gonna have a chat on it and see what’s it all about next week.

Gonna collate some pieces of poems here and there into a very long one, behold, I shall pull a howl. Just got an idea for my next poetry artwork. Pieces of writings on square plate of mirrors. How bout that for reflection of emotions?

People who can’t find the humour in life, will find it hard to enjoy the happyness in adversity.

Ah, drama Melayu in the cafe! Are you guys ready??!! Ala, cannot live commentary la. 1. Saya membelakangi TV. 2. Saya mahu makan.

Just added a lot of (negative) tips for Suria Cafe Station in Bandar Baru Selayang. You wait your turn, aaa other premises. Orang selalu ingat aku tak banyak cakap, aku budak baik, tak banyak soal. Okay, maybe bukan orang dalam Twitter la kot.

Well hello My Celcom. Finally.