The ‘Poke Eye’ English by MINDEF

I rarely read news articles on my Blackberry because I’m those kind of conventional writer who needs to see the large fonts on a bigger screen, however, when I saw the headline which reads, “Mindef blames Google Translate for ‘poke-eye’ blunder”, I just had to. I am very dumbfounded by the Minister’s statement to this issue.

First and foremost, let me just state why I take this issue personally. I am a writer, translator, and also, a daughter of a retired army Colonel. When we were all amused and laughing our ass off while reading the silly translation of Ministry of Defence (MINDEF)’s Ethical Clothing section last Thursday morning, I was actually embarrassed and outraged.

I have done a lot of translation works, copywriting, and not to mentioned, I have been a Corporate Communications personnel myself, never ever would I allow this to happen under my watch. What surprises me is how the Ministry actually take these kind of things for granted. Who is in charged of this? Why is the Minister, Datuk Seri Dr. Ahmad Zahid Hamidi even admitted that MINDEF, a Ministry that spends billions of Ringgit to buy armament that we might not even ever use, to use Google Translate to translate their website, just to save the cost of acquiring the help of a professional translator to do it. (Just to note, MINDEF, I’ve translated a whole website of 20 pages for only RM1,050).

I immediately texted my dad when I read the news and website. He explained that MINDEF’s management are mostly civilian PTDs who might not even understand the Military Ethical Clothing code themselves. I guess my dad missed the point, it’s all about language, and COMMON SENSE. What surprises me when I heard the word “PTD” was that these are supposed to be officers who are employed after 3 stages of screening process and a 6-months training course upon recruitment. Trust me, I know the selection process. I was part of it in 2006, and was not selected for the final interview stage. Apparently not good enough for civil service. BUT, if these very highly selected graduates can’t even THINK and opted to use Google Translate, imagine the level of their work quality.

This shows how our Government civil servants work. I’ve had enough listening to my mom ranting about her colleagues. We are talking about my mom, who is 55 years old, just waiting for her retirement age (56), complaining that her 24-28 year old colleagues, refused to follow her orders, took for granted of their work, and often missing from work without even notifying her. Once, an audit officer (apparently my age) came to her office and scolded her and challenged her to report of his attitude to his boss.  I’m not even gonna state that my mom works at Ibu Pejabat Polis Daerah Gombak. Okay, I just did.

But this is the quality of majority civil servants. Please, don’t get me wrong. I am not about dissing them. And there are minorities – civil servants who works ethically, and delivers quality output. Unfortunately, we don’t have excellent people on the job. I went to a government position interview last June 2011. Sadly, out of 60 people being interviewed for that position, I was saddened by the fact that I wasn’t even competing with anyone of my league and expertise. One girl even told me, she doesn’t know what the job requirements were, but she just needed a government job.

But back to MINDEF’s website. We have spent a lot of money purchasing armament, weaponry, jets and submarines that doesn’t work or was stolen, but at the end of the day, the Minister had to tell the press that, “Yes, we did use Google Translate.” I’m sorry Sir, but even with a doctorate degree, you shouldn’t allow your spin doctors to provide you such statements to tell the public. If I were your PR officer, I would’ve told you to say something like this, “I’m sorry that most of you catch the test-site that was up. Our webmaster was testing the page and what was shown wasn’t a real finalised page by the Ministry. We are now QC-ing the final website and it will be up soon.”

Unfortunately, you can’t hire me, because my principle is that I will never write for a politician.

An Epiphany

e·piph·a·ny
noun /iˈpifənē/

- A moment of sudden revelation or insight

I always tell my friends, “an honest person makes the best lies.” A contradicting statement, almost oxymoron. I used to get attacked for its contradicting message.

Tonight, for the first time I realised what I really meant by it. Thanks to a friend who actually understood where I was coming from.

The argument, or more likely, my stance is this.

Honest people, by whom, I’m referring to honestly sincere people, would only lie not to serve their own agendas or self-gains, but actually based on a certain selfless intention, mainly to protect something or someone.

Honestly, I lie a lot. And I’m an honest person. Maybe it’s not really a smart move to openly confess that I’m a terrific liar. BUT, there’s one thing I learned. People who tell lies based on selfish and bad intentions, will eventually get karma smacking them on their faces. (I might have to eat my words for this but who cares, I have faith that I won’t. I hope).

But this post is not about lying. It’s about honouring your word.

There’s one thing I learned and am still learning, is to not regret the things I’ve said or done. Everything happens for a reason. Time will reveal the reason, but we must embrace whatever that reason may be.

There are times, mostly when I look at myself in my bathroom mirror, I start thinking about the things I’ve said and done recently. The stupid things I’ve said and done. And how I could’ve said or done it differently. And I’d scold myself for a moment, then comforted myself saying that it’s done and it’s okay. And I call this “humility”.

Admitting mistakes and owning up to them, not everyone is capable of doing that.

If I were to use a bigger word for it, it could be “accountability.” But I’m not a big-word person. I can’t even get my grammar right, let alone use bombastic vocabularies.

Recently, I’ve fallen for someone. And during the pursuit in which I refer to as the “courting” period, I’ve said a few things which were pretty heavy. Heavy in terms of its meaning. And as months passed by, as the fire dims and the pursuit leads to nothingness, I looked back at the words I’ve thrown in. Things, a love poet, would write in their best pieces of art. Referring to great love affairs.

I realised, despite it being a pursuit to nowhere, I confined myself in the presence of waiting. Let’s just say, “waiting in vain.”

My friend told me, that is me, honouring my words. I treat my words like a promise. I treat my words with its true meaning and purpose. I find it insulting if it was taken in the opposite context. I am, like a true poet, attached to every single words I write and say.

We live in a cynical, cynical world. Where even honest intentions get misunderstood for the fear of it being untrue. Our paranoia will eventually destroy our faith, despite wanting to protect it.

As I write this in the silence of the night, trying to gather the thoughts I have, the points I am trying to make, I, too, am still figuring things out. A contestant in America’s Next Top Model Cycle 17, Dominique Reighard once said, “You can never be above an opportunity.” Weirdly I’m quoting a reality show contestant, but everyone is a human being with their own baggages and experiences. And I couldn’t agree more. No one can be above an opportunity. And life brings opportunity to you, every single day you wake up still breathing. The moment we acknowledge this, we are given a chance, and we make a choice. Life is, indeed, part chance, part choice. And at the end of the day, we are the person based on the chances given to us and the choices we’ve made. Tomorrow, a new opportunity will come. InsyaAllah.

Everything I’ve written serves as a reminder to myself more than what I wanted to share with anybody who is reading this (if there’s any).

We are all humbled by our experiences, and the lack there-of.

But moments like an epiphany, should be one of the blessings that comes in clear conscience, never in a disguise.

What’ll Break You? Maybe the Apocalips.

The world as we know it, will end.

 

That was the Apocalips, as interpreted by playwright Ivan Yeo in a double bill play I went to last Friday night. Double bill because it is a two-play combo, first you have What’ll Break You and after the intermission, the second play, Apocalips. Indeed a smart thought out interpretation by director Ida Nerina to have two plays at one night, both thought provoking and heart wrenching.

 

Okay, heart-wrenching should not be a suitable word for What’ll Break You because I didn’t cry, but the performance by Zahim Albakri was indeed heart-breaking. What’ll Break You sits in the interrogation room with Mr. Whiteacre (Zahim Albakri) and his said attorney Kevin Schmidt (Gavin Yap). Quite an emotionally draining performance by Zahim although I couldn’t really grasp Kevin Schmidt’s character in this one. One moment there was compassion and the next, quite stone cold. But if you’re used to watching CSI or Crime & Investigation TV series, you would definitely imagine the quality and standard of Ivan’s writing at par with any Hollywood products.

 

Apocalips, on the other hand focuses on three couples whose lives at the end were intertwined. One couple, Chris (Ash Nair) and Wendy (Tania Khan) questions the possibility of a future together, another couple, Troy (Zahim Albakri) and Nicole (Stephanie Van Driesen) questions the possibility of falling in love and the other, Jude (Gavin Yap) and Benjamin (Vince Cheong) questions the possibility of being together. The amazing twist is the apocalips where the world, as we know it, ends. In this piece, although not as emotionally heavy as the first play, is more thought provoking and current. It deals with everyday drama and dilemma in relationships. Although these issues were set in different circumstances, it is still relatable. I haven’t seen Ash Nair, Tania Khan and Vince Cheong acted before and for newcomers, they’re pretty good. Stephanie on the other hand, is a natural. I’ve first seen her as Betty in the Secret Life of Nora and I thought she was brilliant in the musical, and still brilliant in Apocalips. As for Gavin and Zahim, I rest my case. Although, this is the first time I can visually imagine Zahim with hair.

 

You can tell by the very short review I’ve just made, I’m not someone from the production or theatre industry. But I would like to congratulate Ivan Yeo for his brilliance and I wish, his works will get a space in our television because of the lack of English TV productions in Malaysia of late. I remember meeting him at the Kr8tif Digital Conference in December last year, introduced by a mutual friend. Didn’t know then, I was in the presence of greatness. But I guess that’s humility. As the divinity lies in the smallest thing, greatness lies in the presence of the unknown.

 

Although I couldn’t get in touch with the writer, I did get to catch a little bit of Ida Nerina’s time for an interview and I’d like to really thank her taking the time to attend to my (pretty naive) questions. Please excuse the organic fluidity, it’s just natural for us as friends.

 

Q: Is this your first time directing a full length theatre? I know you have directed some comedy sketches for Actorlympics. But how is this different from the ones you’ve been involved with (as behind the scenes)?

     IDA: No it’s not, I first did a director’s workshop being mentored by Joe Hasham and the late Krishen Jit & directed a Jit Murad piece called VISITS. I had 3 female actors- all brilliant! Melissa Saila, Liza Othman & Sofea Jane! I know…like WOW, right? About a year later (circa 2003?) I re-staged VISITS as a full production under Zahim & Jits’ theatre company DramaLab. This time I had Liza Othman, Vanidah Imran & Sarah Shahrum. Jealous yet? In March this year, I put together 8 writers, 8 stories, 16 WOMEN actors (ALL SUPERSTAR NAK TERMAMPOS!) doing about 8 minute pieces each for Capricomm for the 100th International Women’s Day. It was So much FUN! I guess the difference with this piece is I have testosterone involved with the 4 guys. Plus it’s my first venture to learning the ropes of co-producing under my little company “big EyEs Entertainment” with Susan Lankester’s company Catwoman Productions. (It’s all about the money, money, moneyyy…- LOVE that song!) FYI, there is NO direction in Actorlympics- it’s all off the cuff. A series of improvs. No script. Nothing. Even the ideas come from the audience!

 

Q: How was the cast selected? We know some are your friends, but were they picked to suit the characters based from the scripts? I always wonder how theatre casts are selected.

     IDA: Well the truth is, Sue & I knew we needed and wanted 2 male actors who can switch roles in one night swiftly. That reads damn good actors who.. yes, are aesthetically pleasing too. Plus if you want to get these very busy big names, you’ve got to dangle something that will make them go…”Ooh, that’s going to be a challenge!” And the truth is, I have wanted to direct Zahim for many years now. I just didn’t have the right text. And Gavin & I have worked quite a few times together. I saw him last in “Someone To Watch Over Me” and thought to myself, “YEP! Sue & I made the right decision!” His acting has matured and grown with him it’s pretty amazing. And his PROFESSIONALISM is just unbeatable!  The other roles, we had a reading/audition organised almost 2 years ago. Stephanie blew me away for the simple fact she came with headshots and resume and even a change of clothes in case I wanted to see her in ‘Nicole’s’ office attire. Tania actually gave the best read, to be honest. The 2 other boys know this – we had a really tough time casting for Chris though we found someone by May, and actually had a different Benjamin initially. But then they both pulled out in July- for their own different reasons. So the search for Father Benjamin & Chris re-started. I caught some of Vince in AF1, and when Sue put his name towards me, I thought if he could do those different genres of music- he can damn well learn to act properly! And I had seen and heard of Ash, and when he came to meet me for a reading, he gave a pretty damn good read. So here we are. That’s how I cast my cast.

 

Q: I really like the twist in Apocalips, did you put any adjustment or personal input in it or its all from the playwright’s script/story?

     IDA: The writer. We had minor adjustments made of course, but it’s otherwise from Ivan’s head. I just made it farcical.

 

Q: This, I heard, is Ivan Yeo’s debut as a playwright. How did you find him or how did you come across the script?

     IDA: It’s Ivan’s first PLAY. he’s written short films and tv shows… I’m not sure if he has had any of them produced though. He’s got a twisted, quirky, brilliant mind. LOVE!

 

Q: The first play, What’ll Break You seems quite short, although quite heavy. I would love to see it interpreted on screen. Would you venture into that? Usually, movies are adapted into plays. But do you think Malaysian audience or even the theatre people ready to adapting plays to screens?

     IDA: Yes, I would. But let me get over this first. Well, Zahim just adapted Jit Murad’s “Spilt Gravy On Rice” into a big screen flick. And from what I’ve seen, it looks pretty damn good! Actually Jit (and Ivan)’s writings read like a film. It’s been up to the directors to translate them for theatre… Re: What’ll Break You/Apocalips, Ivan and I (& hopefully Sue too!) actually want to take them to singapore… Must find the other Ivan in my life then… Ivan Heng of WildRIce.

 

(Ida, eyeing for Ivan Heng, huh? ) Well, I hope you guys who are reading gets to learn a lot from the production as I have when I got the answers to my questions. Please please please go and watch it for yourself. And no, I’m not paid to do this review and promote the play(S). As artists, we crave recognition. And I think they’re as good and deserving of such praises and recognition.

What’ll Break You / Apocalips is currently being staged at KL Performing Arts Centre (KLPac) from 3rd November until 13th November. Call 0340479000 to book your tickets today! I guarantee you, it’s totally worth it!